All The Things I Meant To Say…


The thing about time is that we think we have it in abundance when in fact, we do not. Nobody sets out planning the last thing they want to say to a loved one just in case they never see again, each time we say good bye we naively assume that we will see or speak to each other again, sadly it doesn’t always work out that way.

I have had my share of loss and grief, God knows I have. I have lost family members and very dear friends, I’m actually still hurting from the two I lost early last year, both of them newlyweds, none of them lived to see their first wedding anniversary. The thing about grief is that it never really passes, years and years after, one memory reminds you of that loss and in that moment you feel that pain in overwhelming tides all over again.

The pain that prompted me to write this, is a comment on this post that I just stumbled upon. This was a post I wrote when I first started this blog. My late friend Swachy, commended my writing and told me that she loved me. I am pretty sure that I did not tell her I loved her too, or that I even thanked her for the comment. I took for granted that I would tell her another time.

This is post is for everyone that I love that has gone to be with the Lord, if I could see you all one more time, I would tell you how much I love and appreciate you, how deeply thankful I am to have had you in my life for the short time I did, how much you made me laugh. I would tell my friend Kunle that I have successfully stopped abbreviating when I am texting or sending emails, I would tell my friend Ada that I took her advice and I stopped drinking coke everyday, I would tell my grandma that I always give my tithes and offerings in Church like she taught me, I would tell Swachy that I am over him and that I don’t cry over boys anymore, I would tell both my aunts that I finally got my masters degree like they wanted me to, I would tell my friend Cynthia that I found that handbag she had been wanting to buy, I would tell my cousin Agugua that I memorized that song he made us listen to every minute and I would tell my friend peter that I never go to bed mad anymore thanks to him. I would tell each one of them every single thing I meant to tell them that I never got around to telling them.

I hope I never have to type another facebook tribute to anyone ever again, I hope I can let the people in my life know how much they mean to me, as often as I can, while they can hear me, that there won’t be any doubt as to how much I value their presence in my life. Tell the people in your life how much you love them, as much as you can, while they can still hear you, don’t be like me. Carrying around the weight of all the things you meant to say but never said, is downright painful.

Photo credit: Google

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