The Chronicles Of A Girl That Lives On The Mainland And Works On The Island…Part 1


So for the past year and a half I have been working on the Island, the famous Lagos Island, this series will carry you along on what I have been going through.

Beep beep beep!.. my alarm goes off at 4:30am every day, and while I struggle to tear myself away from my warm, delicious bed, I offer up a small prayer and hope that somehow I would be able to turn back the hands of time but alas, I cannot! Thanks a lot R Kelly, the hands of time cannot be turned… I get up and who do I see? my sister. She works on the mainland so its easy for her to snuggle deeper and mumble: Pls turn off the light before you leave. My brain is still way too foggy to form a sentence so I head to the bathroom instead.

Fast forward some 45 minutes later, I am out the door with my brother in tow. (He walks me to the bus stop every morning) I board the bus and try to catch a few power naps, but between the bus conductor’s ranting and the extremely bumpy roads, that is almost impossible.

Miraculously, I arrive to work fairly awake and alert, and after hastily putting on my make up (on the days I bother to put on any), I face the day. Thankfully, I love my job and my colleagues and that makes the day go by quite nicely.

6pm time to go…thanks to waiting for the Lekki shuttle to the gate, it takes another 10 -15 minutes to get out of Lekki. Finally me and my friend/colleague get on the bus. It takes about 2 hours, Chipsy plantain chips, laughter and some music to go through the Third Mainland Bridge, We have been on that bridge so much that we know the nooks and crannies of it. We even attempt to calculate how long we might spend on the bridge and most times, we are right.

Finally I get home and all I want to do is sleep, but I have to check in with my mum and my siblings and get set for the next day before reuniting with my bed which I have sorely missed,

Its cruel how the time speeds by because I am barely asleep before the alarm goes off again…

To be continued…

Uncle Lagbaja And His Girlfriend’s Tattoo…

For some reason, almost everything that happens around me is a story! This one I just had to share because it got me laughing and thinking at the same time, how much is too much?

So I was busy minding my own business, sitting on the balcony and patiently waiting for the guy I buy fish from to walk by when I heard the conversation below from a couple on my street. I shall call him Uncle Lagbaja because that’s how I refer to people when I cannot for the life of me remember their names.

Uncle Lagbaja: I say I no do again ni, I don tire for this ya love! shey na by force?

His Girlfriend: Lagbaja I dey beg you, no leave me. Wetin I do you now? Joor tell me make I beg you. Abeg, I take God name dey beg you.

Uncle Lagbaja: Why you go tattoo my name put for ya breast? ehn? I don pay money for ya head? I tell you say I go marry you? why?

His Girlfriend:  Ah! na the tattoo dey cause this wahala? I go commot am sharp sharp! I think say you go love me more and even propose to me sef when you see the tattoo…abeg if na the tattoo dey cause wahala I go run go Ikeja now now, rub am commot.

Uncle Lagbaja: E don too late, I no dey do again, I dey pack my load commot for this house, you wan take this tattoo trap me, your plan no go work. I no marry you since all this years, na this yeye tattoo go make me marry you?

Loud, racking sobs followed and  before I could blink, Uncle Lagbaja stormed away on his Okada, his bags in tow. As if on cue, the guy selling the fish passed by and I went to him.

Now what is the point of this story? I learnt a few lessons from Uncle Lagbaja and his now ex girlfriend and I want to share…

1) Tattooing his name on your body will not make him love you or stay with you, Aunty Amber Rose taught us that lesson recently too.

2) Defining your relationship and setting clear goals are very important. Uncle Lagbaja clearly had no intention to marry her even though they lived together, and had been dating for almost six years.

3) Self Worth cannot be over emphasised. Having witnessed Uncle Lagbaja giving her a few slaps before, I would have thought she would have been happy to break up, clearly I was wrong.

4) Think before you ink!!! Just before you get that tattoo, be sure that you are 100% certain you can live with it. Uncle Lagbaja’s Name wasn’t even spelled correctly in the tattoo and she had it emblazoned on her boobs. He pointed it out too that the least she could have done was spell his name correctly.

I would like to hear your thoughts on love and tattoos, and also what you think of Uncle Lagbaja and his Girlfriend.

On Rainy Days, Gentle Men and One Blue Scarf…

Long time no post! I have had a crazy schedule of late. I hope you all are well?

I do not like rainy days, not one bit. I don’t mind them if I am at home, in my bed with a yummy novel but when I am going out, I’d rather it remains bright and sunny.images

Its been raining consistently for the past couple of days, and for some reason it has been drenching me, well its my fault really because I absolutely hate carrying umbrellas. So on yet another rainy morning just before I got off the bus, I overheard the ladies sitting in front of me discussing and wondering if there were any good men left in Nigeria. One of them said over and over again how men were clueless and couldn’t see a good woman like herself to love and to cherish. The other lady said she did not love her husband any longer and was just waiting for him to do something worth leaving him for. Between two of them they came up with the conclusion that there were no good men left in the world. I tried not to laugh at some of the things they were saying and focused my energy on hoping the rain would stop as we got closer to the bus stop.

Since I didn’t have my umbrella, I began to take measures to reduce the effect I knew the rain would have on me. I stuffed my phones into the side zipper of my handbag to keep them from getting wet, rolled up my perfectly ironed black trousers which the rain would end up ruining anyways, and draped my dependable blue wool scarf around my head and shoulders. At this point the rain had increased and I was prepared for the worst.

The bus stopped, I got down but the shelter at the bus stop was filled with people like myself who found themselves without an umbrella, so despite all my precautionary measures, I found myself standing in the rain and rapidly getting drenched, again! While the rain was busy dealing with me, the women who were discussing earlier in the bus suddenly flanked me and poked their head into my already dripping blue scarf! I was too stunned to even complain and I just let them be.

It kept pouring and by this time the scarf had become quite useless but we held on it. People drove by speedily not minding the water they were splashing on us. A bolt of thunder, a flash of lighting and the rain kept pouring. Miraculously,a jeep that had been driving slower than the others, came to a halt and asked us where we were headed. Luckily for me and my two new friends, he was going our way and we got into the car, wet clothes, shoes and all. 

Soon, we got to our destination and again the ladies and I were headed the same way. We chorused our “thank you sir” and the other lady blurted out: Hmmmmm, so there are still good men in this world? The man heard it, smiled and drove off.
Happy to be rid of the two women, I walked away, wondering how I was going to get through the day with my wet clothes.

I am a firm believer that there are good men left in the world, I know only a handful though and I am grateful for them.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”- Maya Angelou

What does my rainy day experience say about me?

Where Is Your Laughter?…

Yessss….Yesssss your money for back. The bus conductor dashed any hope I had of catching a brief nap on my way to work. I faced the window and attempted to sleep again only for him to nudge me; yessss sister your money, I no get change oh…after attempting to give him my special brand of ”bad eye” I dug out my wallet and paid him.

I put my head down again and continued my bumpy ride to work until the guy beside me decided that 6:15 am was the best time to play Eleda Mi by Olamide on his loud “chinko” phone, I raised my head to glare at him but when I saw that he and some other passengers on the bus were humming along to the song, I decided not be a kill joy and reached into my hand bag for my earpiece. I searched and searched and only then did I realize that one of my brothers must have borrowed it and forgot to return it to my bag. At this point I was so distraught and all the sleep I was clinging to had fled from my eyes.

Before long I was at my bustop and when I got down from the bus I remembered  hadn’t collected my  750 Naira change from the conductor, I turned to ask him but the bus was zooming away and I couldn’t run after it. At this point I was livid, and  was so convinced that my day was off to a bad start. I had my frown in place and proceeded to climb the bridge and then I saw a friend of mine…

This friend of mine is a crippled guy that sits on the Lekki bridge every morning. There’s always a smile on his face as he whistles cheerily while sweeping the bridge from corner to corner… Him: Ah “Ore Mi! (Ore Mi is the Yoruba word for My Friend) how you dey today? why your face be like this? wey your laugh dey”? Hearing this promptly turned my frown into a smile and I reached into my bag to give him some money like I do daily, but he stopped me and said: “Ore, no worry, this laugh wey you laugh so don reach me,we go see tomorrow”. 

That gesture touched me deep in my soul, because it dawned on me that while I was busy talking myself into being angry so early in the morning, this guy who has no legs and no job was busy finding joy while he was sweeping the bridge. Where is your laughter? where is your smile? the economy is dwindling, you don’t have a car, a good job, a spouse, a house, Brazilian and Peruvian hair, lol… whatever it may be. Learn from my friend on the bridge like i did and make up your mind to be happy and be grateful no matter what the circumstances may be.

Laughter is good for the soul, laugh often and do your best to make other people laugh too, you will be glad you did!

Proverbs 17:22- ”A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones…”

Random Fact: Dark chocolate, honey and eggs can help increase blood flow, prevent depression and increase your energy.