Dear Late Bloomer…

girlygoingawayparty

 

Dear late bloomer,

Other flowers might seem pretty and charming and quick to bloom…

Their leaves dazzling to the eyes, their scents delightful to smell,

People pass over you to pick their shiny petals,

And gift them to each other as a symbol of love and hope…

But in the midst of the shinny and bright, the colorful and dainty,

There lies you. Sturdy and a little hidden, tendrils barely reaching out.

Never given a second thought, never picked or fawned over.

Often bent in order to reach the lovelier ones,

But fret not late bloomer, fret not..

For the Master knows just what He’s doing.

Be patient and allow yourself to grow, to be pruned, to flourish…

Because in due time, Just when the time is right,

You will bloom!

And Oh! You will be shinier and more colorful than any flower that ever was and ever will be.

And because God took His time with you, those that skipped you will flee back…

Lines will form just for you, for your beauty and resilience will be echoed around the world.

So Dear late bloomer,

Fret not…grow and bloom at your own pace,

‘Cos soon, you will be the belle of the ball.

And I know this because I am just like you…

 -Adaugo 2016

How To Get Over Your Ex!…

Breakups are  never easy, especially when you were really in love and had grand plans for the future, but like death, rain and taxes, breakups are always bound to happen and will literally break you like the name implies and the question now becomes how to rebuild yourself.

I thought about this post long and hard because being vulnerable is not an easy thing for me and especially in this era where everyone has an opinion about things they have no business having opinions about, it’s really hard to be open and honest but for the love of writing and for my readers who are dear to my heart, I decided to share.

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I do a lot of thinking, like I literally sit on my bathroom floor or on the bus or in my closet or anywhere really and just lapse into deep thought, OK not that deep but still I think a lot and even more lately. So another year has come and gone, another new year, vals day, Easter, birthday, summer, fall, and now it’s almost winter and Christmas is around the corner and I am still single, wow. How did that happen? How did a whole year go by without anyone seeing me? Loose some weight, go out more often, do fun stuff, be open minded they said; done, done and done (well, except for the weight) but alas here we are. So I got to thinking, and thinking and thinking. What am I doing wrong? I am not the world’s biggest girl, I’m beautiful and smart, LOL it’s not by degrees right? But seriously what is it? Then a light bulb went off, maybe I wasn’t over my ex…

What??? It’s been a couple of years and I sincerely thought that I was, but it took one sentence from my friend to jolt me into the realization. So my friend and I were chatting the other day and the subject came up and he said to me: You cannot be loved because you won’t let anyone love you. I was floored by this statement and so damn mad, I was just about to lose my cool but the voice of reason kicked in and I allowed him to explain himself and when he was done, boy! The truth is always bitter, nobody likes hearing the truth but I got over myself and really listened to what he had to say and just maybe he was right…maybe I cannot be loved in this state that I’m in mentally, because I am still kind of angry about how it all ended and I have been walking around carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, unconsciously holding on to the fact that just maybe he would come back to me and we would make it work again, I could go on and on but in my thinking it was clear to me that there is only one way to get over your ex and it is this: get over yourself, and then get over him or her, in that order.

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both pics were taken on the same day(when I still had hair lol), on the right I had just cried my eyes out and wallowed in self pity quite a bit and on the left, I fixed my face, went out with some friends and blossomed in their company and in several glasses of wine soooo, it’s up to you to cheer yourself on, don’t fail yourself!

You made mistakes, so what? You wasted your precious time loving someone and then they broke your hearts and stomped all over it? What’s done is really done. No amount of reminiscing or moping around or listening to love songs will change any of the events that has already transpired, so all you can literally do is get over it!

  • Accept your portion of the blame for whatever it is that might have happened, forgive yourself and look inward to see how you can do better next time.
  • STOP stalking them on social media; not everything they post is about you, they just might have moved on and it’s time to follow suit.
  • Forgive them and let them go, because the longer you hold on to unforgiveness and bitterness and anger, guess who you’re hurting? You!
  • Fall in love with yourself, rediscover just how awesome you are, take care of you and become an even more amazing version of yourself.
  • Disband the pity party, for a night of wallowing, I prescribe three nights of going out! sitting around moping will change nothing!
  • A rebound relationship is the most stupid thing you will ever do. You don’t need to get under someone to get over your ex, I don’t even know why that quote is allowed to be a quote. Rebounds never solve anything, they are just another mistake on top your pile of mistakes.

So its time for me to take a deep breath and let go of all the sentiments, the what ifs and the reminiscing about the fun times and to just get on with my life, open minded and ready to dip my toes into the water again. Will it be easy? No matter of fact it is downright painful and especially in the world we live in today where everyone else seems to be deliriously in love and happy and living in Lala land and you’re just there. But it will be worth in the end, it has to be. How to get over your ex? Get over him or her, that’s how!

Like we always do, let’s talk about this; how have you gotten over break ups? I want to learn a thing or two or more from you guys…

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”― Mandy Hale

On Hand Writings & The Big Chop

Hey guys, its me again! Remember me? Your best friend?, LOL

A lot has happened since the last time, but before I catch you up, lets do this quick little handwriting tag. Since Mfon @daintyM could not be bothered to tag me, I decided to tag myself. Apparently you’re supposed to write a few things in your handwriting and post it on here, so here goes:

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I actually had fun writing this, I don’t remember the last time I actually sat down to put pen to paper and to write something, I am so used to taking notes on my phone. I can only hope my handwriting is legible enough. OK that’s a lie, I wrote my grocery list today, but it was barely legible.

In other news, I haven’t written in so long because I would have bled all over the pages and it might have been a little sad, and maybe hard to decipher. But as always, I have risen above and I am also working on a way to share my struggles and victories with you guys, so that even if it encourages only one person I can rejoice in it.

I cut my hair! So I took the plunge and did the big chop, and I must say it is the most therapeutic thing I ever did, I didn’t think I could and other than the slight twinge of emotion I felt when I saw all my hair on the floor, I haven’t had a single moment of regret and can I just say that feeling the water run down my head everyday in the shower is THE BEST FEELING EVER!!!

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So this is it guys, watch this space though, I will post some stuff this weekend and it will be good!

Love,

Adaugo

“Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text.”
Vikrmn Corpkshetra

“How to get over your EX? Get over him that’s how!”-random lady on the bus

 (totally unrelated to this post, but watch this space this weekend)