Month: July 2016

Bloggers Recognition Award/Give Away!..

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Hi Guys,

Yet another thing to be thankful for! I know that I am a little behind on accepting this nomination,but I am so so happy to be writing this post today! Many thanks to my new friend Nancy for nominating me, it means a lot to me and I am grateful. OK let’s do this!

Award Rules: Write a post to show your award √

Acknowledge the blogger that nominated you: Thanks Nancy! (link to her blog above) √

Give a brief story about how you started blogging: I have always loved writing but for a number of reasons I was wary of starting my own blog, I was practically bullied into starting it. You can read more about that journey here: once upon a blog

Give two pieces of advice for new bloggers:

  1. Be sure you really want to blog, because it’s a lot of work and consistency is key. Once you start and you develop an audience it is very important to be consistent with your blogging, keep the fire burning. Literally.
  2. Leave it all on the post, when you write from your heart you will be shocked by how much it will resonate with people, you’ll meet like minded readers and make friends. It’s an awesome feeling!

Nominate 15 deserving bloggers: This is the fun part!

  1. My darling  Mfon DainyM (even though she has a ton of awards!)
  2. Achalugo
  3. Tooki
  4. Gorgeousbskin
  5. Themumzone
  6. Kennedy Simplyforgotten
  7. Judith deveinme
  8. Sisiakowe
  9. Munachi
  10. Mybecomingdiaryblog
  11. D’dream
  12. Yourbeautypalette
  13. Crystalwalls
  14. Luis
  15. Maryann

I hope you all have fun writing yours as well. *group hug*

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GIVE AWAY !!!

This is my very first give away and I am super excited. So because my post about getting a letter from my beloved Danielle Steel here was very well received by you guys, it got me feeling generous and I thought I would share the pleasure of reading with my darling followers. so you guys already know I have A LOT of her novels and I am willing to give away ten of them and here’s how it’ll work.

  • You have to be in Lagos to be able to participate
  • You have to be a subscriber to my blog
  • You have to be willing to find time to go pick up the book yourself
  • You have to leave a comment or send me an email; adaugosdiary@yahoo.com telling me why you want one or more of the novels

And that’s it! when I compile the names I get, I will contact you personally and let you know how to go get it.

Peace & Love

Adaugo

 

Twenty eight lessons…

So, I have learned that some of my best writings have happened on the nights that Lady Sleep eludes me. Yes I am convinced that sleep is a woman and she is somehow mad at me, because why else will I spend more nights than I can count staring at my window, watching the sun rise? Everything hurts. My mind is tired, my eyes hurt, my chest hurts, and even my tattoo hurts. My mind is clouded, sigh…lonely is a bad place to be…and now I’ve digressed! Back to the matter at hand, sleep deprivation. Since I can’t sleep, I might as well write. 4:49am…

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I should have written this post in March seeing that I had my birthday in March and now this is July but better late than never right? So here goes: 28 lessons I have learned in my 28 years.

  1. Life doesn’t always go like you planned for it to go, and that’s ok. If your plans fall through, regroup and make new ones and try not dwell on what could have been.
  2. People will hurt you, especially those closest to you. But hey, that’s life. Be quick to forgive, for you, for your sanity and peace of mind.
  3. Pick your battles wisely. You absolutely don’t have to attend every argument that you get invited to. Master the art of walking away from toxic situations.
  4. Learn how to say No! You cannot be Mr or Ms nice every single time, because people will take you for granted. Be kind, but be smart and allocate your time to things that matter. I am not saying don’t help people, I am saying be smart.
  5. Be passionate. By now you should have figured out what you want to do with your life, hold on to it and be all out. Whatever your hands find to do, do it with gusto and do it with pride. Leave no room for mediocrity.
  6. Learn new things as often as you can; a song, a craft, a skill, a new dish, whatever it is, try to do something new, something you’ve never done before, venture into new things, the world is yours, take it!
  7. Find the time to read. Don’t be an ignorant 28 year old who knows nothing other than the crumbles gleaned from social media. Find the time to actually watch the news, read a book and be aware of the happenings in the world around you.
  8. Take care of yourself. You cannot be of use to anybody if you are unhappy or unwell. Take care of your body, your health, your mind. If you are a woman go for a pap smear and a mammogram, if you are a guy go for a body work up. Its dangerous to be nonchalant about your health.
  9. Refine your circle of friends; you are old enough to identify the toxic, no good people who only seek to tear others down. Re-evaluate the company you keep, if no meaning comes from it, detach yourself asap.
  10. Give yourself, your love, your time, and resources to those that are less fortunate than yourself. There is immense joy to be found in giving.
  11. Don’t make rash decisions. Always think things through as much as you can, there’s no need burdening yourself with the regrets that accompany bad decisions.
  12. Drink ALOT of water; drink water more than you drink alcohol. It does wonders for the body and the skin and hair and nails and everything. Why hasten your wrinkles when you can slow it down?
  13. Smile at strangers, smile at familiar people. You look more beautiful when you smile, plus it costs nothing and it does wonders for your face as well. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile, true story! You are never fully dressed without a smile.
  14. Don’t take things too seriously, learn to laugh things off and just be happy. Nobody cares if you are miserable so you might as well be happy right?
  15. Old friends are awesome, but then so are new ones. Be open to meeting new people both older and younger and giving them a chance to be in your life. Friends are awesome and I am grateful for mine.quotescover-JPG-71
  16. Don’t be superman or super woman when you don’t have to be. Ask for help if you need it. You really don’t have to do it all by yourself, don’t be an island. Everybody needs somebody, and you are no exception.
  17. Be sensitive and alert to the seasons of your life. Some friendships and relationships are for a season. Most times that season will end abruptly and it will hurt you badly. But when it does, don’t sweat it or force it. Be wise enough to know when to let go.
  18. You are what you think you are, so think big.
  19. Be yourself. Be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. Don’t copy anyone; don’t make any decisions on a whim just because you saw it on social media or because everyone else is doing it.
  20. Speaking of social media, don’t be gullible. Facebook, instagram, snapchat and twitter are alternate universes. Don’t be fooled by the hype! Spending all your time on social media will lead you nowhere.
  21. Take risks. Pack up and leave your comfort zone!
  22. Don’t be afraid to fail. If and when you do, its ok to be sad but snap out of it and move on, try again and keep trying till you get it right.
  23. Value your time. You’re too old to spend your precious time on frivolities.
  24. Be happy when your friends are successful, even if it hasn’t happened for you yet. If you are like me and all your friends are getting married and having babies and it hasn’t happened for you yet, smile! Be sincerely happy and wish them well and be confident in the fact that your time will come.
  25. Be content in your season. Whatever season you find yourself in, be content and rest in God’s perfect timing. Run to God, note that I said run, not walk. You need Him at this stage of your life, more than you ever have!
  26. Take care of your parents; I don’t talk about this a lot but my dad is unable to walk as a result of an accident and sometimes he’s unable to do some things for himself. So one day he was in a fix and I ran to him and helped him and afterwards, he told me to go on my knees and he laid his hands on his heart and blessed me, he said some deep proclamations over me that left me with goose bumps…do something for your parents that will provoke them to bless you like they never have.
  27. Don’t give your pearls to the swine. Don’t have meaningless sex just because. Guard your heart. Don’t give your love, your time or your body to people who don’t deserve you. Be wise.
  28. Find joy in all the little things, like singing and dancing in front of the bathroom mirror, taking long walks, whatever it is that will make you happy do it. Your happiness is literally in your hands; don’t put it in other people’s hands because they will drop it, every single time.

Another sun rise and I am wide awake…well, I am thankful for life, for the gift of a new day, and for the presence of mind to gather my thoughts and share with you all. Have an awesome day!

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”  – Steve Jobs

Jejelaiye…

 

Jejelaiye…live life easily, slow and steady or something close to it…

So there was this street named Jejelaiye, in the beloved place of my childhood,

 A very quiet street, very slow paced…everyone seemed to walk slowly there,

And if I close my eyes I can see that even the cars and motorcycles drove slowly by..

Life was easy, life was slow, and life was calm on Jejelaiye Street.

Houses were far apart, one School, one Church and one risqué business down the road…

I walked that road many times, to take my dad’s clothes to Uncle Ruffy.

Uncle Ruffy was my dad’s drycleaner and I never knew a man that smiled as much as he did…

I’d sit there for hours, just watching him scurry around, trying to do ten tasks at once.

Always whistling a merry tune, always smiling, always happy.

I met someone very dear to me on that street, but that’s a whole other story.

In my fast paced life today, thousands of miles away, I wish…

I wish I could take a million steps back to when life was easy and calm…

I wish I was that young girl with wide eyes, who knew no pain or hurt yet..

If I had three wishes;  I wish, I wish, I wish that I could live carefree like that again,

Slow and easy…Jejelaiye.

 –Adaugo,2016

 

Life, Death, and the in between…

 

You know how you think deep thoughts, just from witnessing a simple, everyday life scenario? Well, it happened to me today. So my cousin had a baby and I went down to see her/ babysit. (those that know me, know my “slight” obsession with babies) anyway I went to see her and I have been having the time of my life babysitting, because there’s something about babies that makes all my worries go away. My pretty baby girl has been a perfect palate cleanser from all of life’s storms.

Now, her aunt’s aged mother also happens to be around and for some reasons, it’s been fascinating being in the same house with a new born and a very old woman. My baby cousin is helpless and completely dependent on her mother, requires constant care and affection, and literally cannot help herself, and coincidentally so is Mama.  I was in the living room with Mama as she sat facing the balcony and a ray of light hit her  across her face and it dawned on me how beautiful she must have been in her youth, I thought the same again when she got all dressed up in her skirt and jacket for our trip to the town and then it hit me; one day, this will be me! My parents are already heading down that road  and even though God blessed my mother with luscious skin and good health, some day she will be old and frail and will depend on me to take complete care of her the way she did for me when I was a helpless infant. This must be the circle of life that Mufasa kept telling Simba about in the Lion King…

As I sat on that chair absorbing the thought of my mother becoming old and grey, another thought hit me; it’ll happen to me too. All my great grandparents and grandparents have gone to be with the Lord, My father is in his mid sixties and my mum is following suit, and one day in their ripe old age by the grace of God, they’ll go to be with the Lord too. By the time that happens I will probably be in my fifties or early sixties, saying goodbye to my parents and then my own kids will start making arrangements for my own old age, their kids will do the same for them and it will go on and on and on.

I will admit that I was quite sober and so so quiet after these thoughts were done running through my head and as I went to the bathroom to wash my face, I looked at the mirror and again it occurred to me that one day my firm skin will be wrinkled and tired, deep lines will be etched on my face, my back will be stooped and who knows how many teeth I will have left?

Time is ticking away, every second and minute that passes is time we will never get back. Every birthday is one step closer to the grave! what are you doing with the precious time that God has so graciously given to you? Don’t wait till you are fragile and old and grey, Live now! And if your parents are still alive, love them and honor them and spend as much time as you can with them so that in their twilight years, when all they can do is sit and stare, they will have memories to keep them going. As soon as I post this, I am going to call my parents and have a really long conversation with them, you should do the same.

Life, and death, and everything in between is made up of memories and time which is ever so fleeting, stop and smell the flowers…

“Love your parents, we are so busy growing up, we also forget that they are growing old”–Anonymous

“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.”- Benjamin Franklin

Oh Danielle!…

 

I think my obsession with Danielle Steel’s books is a universally known fact. Been reading her books for over ten years now and I own a lot, seventy to be precise. There’s just something about her books that makes me happy. Danielle doesn’t write the typical boy meets girl, boy falls in love with  girl and they live happily ever after, no. With her, its girl meets boy, boy falls in love with girl. Girl dies! Or they get a divorce, or there’s an accident and boy goes blind, I could go on and on. I know it sounds a little sad but it’s not, and I think that’s life because plans fall apart, things change, people fall out of  love, accidents happen. Nobody really lives in a bubble filled with rainbows and unicorns or happily everafters. Life happens and it pokes a hole in the bubbles we so naively build around ourselves.

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So out of the blues one day I sent her an email and I forgot about it. I never imagined she would reply me, much less send me an autographed picture and a letter. Oh you already know I lost my mind screaming and dancing like a drunken fellow. I was so happy and of course I put them up on my wall. So I thought I would share, and that’s really what this post is about. *covering my face* I’m finding joy in all the little things, we all should…

Peace & Love

How Many More?

If you’re not afraid, then you’re not paying attention…Alton and Philando, these names have been ringing in my head all day, its 4am and I am laying here trying to sleep but each time I close my eyes I see Alton suffering his last seizures before he gave up and I see Philandeo just sitting there, his white tee drenched in blood, his four year old sitting helplessly in the back seat and his poor fiancee literally watching his life fade away. Every human being deserves comfort at the time of death, a hand to hold, a last prayer, one last whisper of I love you… Philando had the two most important people in his life right next to him, his fiancee and his child, still he died alone; no I love you, no prayer, not even the warmth of a human touch and the last thing he saw was an officer pointing a gun at him after shooting him severally…sigh

And then early this morning, several police officers have fallen, they were probably good men who might never kill for no apparent reason, still they died. They won’t get to go home to their families ever again, but then neither will Alton or Philandeo or Eric or Tamir or Sandra or any one of the countless people that have died by an officer’s bullet.

I am not an American, wasn’t born nor raised here, but this affects me. I am a Nigerian who found her way here to get an education, that cost an arm and leg if I may add. I am just a girl trying to make it out here, all by myself and tonight I am scared. I can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t do nothing except cower in my room and try to gather my thoughts by writing. Am I  supposed to run now when I see the cops, am I supposed to wear my ID on my neck because I might get shot for reaching for it? Sigh…

All I can do is pray. Pray my heart out and petition God to step in and heal this great nation, to give comfort and solace to all the families in deep mourning and also to heal my country Nigeria because we have become so used to police brutality in Nigeria, that  no one even bothers to speak of it anymore. I lost an uncle. He was shot point blank in his head, in broad daylight, for no reason. He was unarmed and he didn’t do nothing! but his death went unnoticed except by us his family who bear the burnt and remember him daily.

It’s a sad, bleak day and my heart is heavy. I know that not all cops are evil, and I fervently pray that this day heralds a change; because how many more deaths will it take for us to wake up and smell the coffee? #saytheirnames #AltonSterling #PhilandoCastile 

“We’re in an emergency situation. The United States has become an absolutely terrifying country, and I would hope that I could participate in some way in stopping the horror and the brutality.” –Wallace Shawn

Friends In Unexpected Places…

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Tosin and yours truly…

This post is dedicated to my friend/honorary big sister/ gist partner Tosin aka sisto.

March 7 2011, I stood on the queue alongside hundreds of my fellow freshly minted corps members in Lagos state camp. The sun was exceptionally hot that day and the NYSC staff were taking their sweet time to pay us attention and appoint rooms to our tired selves. I didn’t serve with my original batch, so I literally knew no one in camp and I just stood by myself on the queue, my box behind me and my red bucket beside me. It was so so noisy and I wished fervently that I had my ipod with me but alas I left it in my mum’s car when she dropped me off.

Out of all the noise and clatter, I could make out a distinctive voice with some sort of accent and it inexplicably made me so mad, I found myself rolling my eyes and wondering what was wrong with her and her posse of friends. I finally turned back to look at her and there she was, in her navy blue top, black pants and oversized sun glasses. Well, her Ghana weaving is fine sha…I thought to myself. The NYSC officials deigned to attend to us and they started assigning rooms, and as the queue moved along and I noticed the random pattern of the assignment, I prayed fervently that she would not be in my room. I didn’t come to camp to make friends biko, and I honestly didn’t want to deal with her. I just wanted the compulsory three weeks to fly by so I could resume my job at the bank.

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The queue got crazy and I lost sight of her so I concentrated on looking for my room, the epic room 11 and I found it. I walked in and found my bunk, and as I was trying to focus on something else to drown out the voice of my bunk mate who was already talking my ear off, I saw her! Ahhhh why me? I thought to myself. I was determined to stay out of her way and mind my own business and besides I was trying to wrap my mind around how filthy the hostel was and how I was going to survive for three whole weeks here. That night, my red bucket, my bottle of dettol, my soap dish, my sponge and my towel mysteriously disappeared when I left the bathroom line briefly to charge my phone. I had to buy a whole new bathing paraphernalia the next day and I didn’t find it funny!

I managed to avoid Ms. Thing and her crew until one fateful morning on the parade ground. It must have been around 8am and as we stood waiting for the soldiers to tell us what to do, this girl walked by, fully made up! Powder, concealer, foundation, eye shadow, red lipstick, and false lashes to boot. I couldn’t comprehend why anyone in their right mind would wear all that make up for morning exercise. I looked around to see if I was the only one that found this situation amusing when my eyes met with hers and we simultaneously burst into laughter and we laughed till we almost cried. I walked up to her platoon and she said Hi, my name is Tosin and that was it! PS: we nicknamed the girl makeup chick and for the life of me I never knew her real name. From that moment, I forgot that I didn’t like her before and we spent almost every waking moment together in camp and frankly she made my camp experience bearable. I met some of the most amazing human beings I have ever known in that camp: Yemisi, Cee, Mide, Dr. Efosa, Jesse, Yetty, Tosin(boy), Cheekway, Skar and most importantly Ajay! These people were literally the best thing that happened to me, and they made my birthday celebration in camp the best one I have had till date! Thanks guys…

Tosin and I have been through so much together and sometimes when I think about I her I honestly can’t imagine my life without her and it occurs to me how I would have missed out on knowing such an amazing soul, so this is a heartfelt shout out to make up chick! My sisto is beautiful, smart, kind, a talented singer and event planner, and she makes my life brighter with her presence, I am super grateful for her and to my camp crew who I am still friends with till date, love you guys!

When I think about it, some of my closest friends were met in unexpected places, I met my loving friend Kemi on a BRT bus from Lekki, I met Sheila at Lekki bustop, My darling friend Emmanuel I met on the bus as well, and how can I forget Achalugo and Mfon whom I met from blogging? they have all been so good to me and it never ceases to amaze me how we just meet random people and they come into your life and just stay. I am truly blessed, and I hope this post made you smile, reach out to your friends today and tell them how grateful you are to have them in your life, I am deeply grateful for mine…

 “There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t yet met.” –William Butler Yeats