Lines Not To Fall For, After He Leaves You…

Now this is just a little Friday humor, but please take somethings I say with more than a pinch of salt, a handful maybe. If he broke up with you and you are trying to nurse your broken heart, the following are lines you should6334362-angry-african-american-couple never fall for.

Line 1: Lets remain friends- This is a huge no no! if he broke your heart, why prolong the agony? I am not saying be enemies, but I don’t see why you need to hang around each other and watch each other move on. So when he says: Lets remain friends, say you will think about it and call him, maybe, in a few years.

Line 2: You’ll always have a piece of my heart- Oh please, let him keep his heart all to himself. If he wont give you all of it, don’t accept pieces of it. True, save the violins, stamp on it and walk away without looking back.(ok not so drastic, but walk away nevertheless)

Line 3: I value our friendship too much to continue dating you Yeah right. He doesn’t love you, probably never did and if you listen to this, you will find yourself clinging to the hope that maybe someday you guys will make it since he “values” your friendship. Move on, do not let him prevent you from meeting someone else.

Line 4: I will always be there for you if you ever need to talk: Uhhhhm no thank you. let your support system be there for you, your mum and your girls, he doesn’t get to make promises like that anymore. you’re broken up, remember?

Line 5: I am sorry, can we try again?– How many times has he said that before? be honest. Once? you tried, it didn’t work. learn from it, count your losses and go!

Some things are just not meant to be, maybe two of you weren’t meant to be, and that’s OK…you need to learn to accept that maybe it didn’t work out for a reason, What that reason is, you might never know but still, be strong. Someone who appreciates you will come along, so don’t hang around, fanning flames that have died out and killing each others chances of happiness.

When suffering from a broken heart, be wary of wallowing alone. It is very unhealthy. For every night of wallowing, prescribe three nights out...”- Camilla Morton

Photo credit: Google

How Many Frogs?

How many frogs does a girl have to kiss to find her prince? There is still no answer to that question and single girls all over the world have kissed countless frogs and none has since turned into a prince charming.images

Single ladies go through so much and its no wonder half of them rush into ill thought out marriages and find themselves back to square one in a few years. First there is the unbearable pressure from family and friends, subtle hints and sometimes not so subtle ones, asking them when they are getting married and why they aren’t dating yet.

Then there is the BBM syndrome, almost per minute, pictures are being put up with engagement rings, dramatic proposals and I said yes! captions. Broadcast messages are being sent for bridal showers, Asoebi sales and save the dates are a dime a dozen and one single girl is sitting in one corner wondering when her time will come. Am I saying that brides to be are doing anything wrong by sharing the joy of their impending marriages with their single friends? Not at all, all I am saying is that being a single girl can be rough sometimes  most of the time. 

How so? it can be difficult when a friend of yours with whom you haven’t spoken in ages suddenly calls you up or sends you a message inviting you for her wedding and also telling you how much the fabric for the occasion will cost. To save face, you might have to cough out money you didn’t have lying around in the first place to pay for a fabric that often comes in a ridiculous color or texture and that you might never wear again.

Then there is the “third wheel situation”. After being convinced to come along to some place with your friends who are in relationships, you go along thinking: “how bad can it be? we are all friends.” only to find yourself standing or in some cases sitting idly while the lovebirds whisper into each others ears, exchange soulful looks and laugh at jokes which only them can decipher.

Blind dates and random set ups are fast becoming the order of the day. A friend of a friend meets some guy and thinks he’ll be a good match for you and voila! numbers are exchanged and after a few attempts at getting to know each other, you find yourself thinking if you were so far gone that your friends thought that this guy would  be a good match for you.

I am no expert on this issue seeing as I am asking myself the exact same questions, but after much thinking and a little research, I think the best thing to do is to focus on yourself while you wait. Take that class you have been wanting to take, embark on trips, Learn a craft, or a new language, seek for ways to constantly expand your horizons and improve yourself. Stop evaluating every guy you meet by promptly asking for his long and short term goals, and mentally grading him on your checklist, focus that energy into making new friends and you never know…

How many frogs does a girl have to kiss to find her prince? we might never know…but I do not think that true love is always a fairy tale, where the guy swoops in and sweeps you off your feet. I believe that true love takes hard work and commitment but in the end, it is worth waiting for.

Why Didn’t He Call Me Back???

Disclaimer: This post is just my honest opinion, I might be wrong…

Girl meets guy, they get along, guy asks for girl’s number, girl gives it to him, guy promises to call and he does not call. Why didn’t he call me back? this is a question that girls all over the world have asked themselves and their friends at some point. It is safe to say that in some cases, it has remained a mystery.

Now, in my little experience,(emphasis on the word little) I have discovered that men, (well most of them) are sure footed, and they basically do what they say they will do.

So I think that if he did not call you back, it might be for any of these reasons:

1. You did, said, implied, or even wore something that flashed red signs at him and he has decided to have none of it.

2. After a few hours of not hearing from him, you texted and called and basically stalked him. This might set him off too!

3. He got hit by a bus or by lightning and died minutes after he got your number!!! LOL

Seriously though I might be wrong but who knows? Sometimes Ladies, Its nothing you did or said or implied or wore that led to his not calling back. He might say he is busy, but hey, there are 24 hours in a day, he could have found 5minutes to call you back. He can say he forgot and if he actually did, Ouch!

After all is said and done, I am of the opinion that if a man says he will call you and he doesn’t, he didn’t die, he wasn’t hit by a bus, he is not so busy! He just didn’t want to call!

Who thinks differently?

So Tell Me About Yourself…

So, tell me about yourself…some guys say this to girls they have just met and are trying to get to know,  usually during those initial awkward bbm/whatsapp chats or sometimes phone calls. I have been asked that question before and I rememimages (2)ber that I paused and thought to myself, how am I supposed to respond to this question? what parts of myself I’m I supposed to describe to this guy who I barely know in one sentence? Should I have sent him a copy of my CV instead? Ok that would have been extreme but my point is what happened to getting to know someone the old fashioned way? Our parents and those before them did not have Instant messaging and they got along just fine.

The problem with this is that there is a high tendency for people to tell lies during these chats. For example a lazy, rude girl who is also a lousy cook and has no interest in reading whatsoever can decide to present herself as such…

Random Guy: …I got your pin/number from my friend, and I would really love to know more about you.. soooo tell me more about yourself, the things you like and those you don’t like…

Random Girl: ...Uhmmm well, I am very hardworking, decent, I read a lot and I am an excellent cook, I also volunteer at a homeless shelter in my free time…I love guys that are honest, caring and God fearing. I cannot stand pride, deceit, etc...

This guy has no clue that this girl is being phony! He on the other hand upon hearing the girl’s preferences might just decide that since he is nothing like what she has mentioned  he has to become what she wants in a guy, to get her. This relationship is already faulty and doomed to fail because it is built on lies and unrealistic expectations. He might be expecting her to one day make him a mouth watering meal only to find out that she can barely make noodles without burning the whole pot! The girl might be expecting a guy who doesn’t smoke nor drink or stay out late but because he has lied to her and fashioned his online self to suit her, they are both in for huge disappointments.

Let’s talk about pictures shall we? between all the filters, photoshop, photo editing and all that we have these days, any one can look drop dead gorgeous. Usually after ” so tell me about yourself ” comes the ” is this you on your dp? ” or ” pls send me recent pictures of you ” of course they will  both scroll through their phones and send each other the prettiest, most handsome pictures of them all, the one that highlights all the right areas, makeshift dimples and all.. At the end of the day when they eventually see each other, it would be hard to marry the two personalities together, because their online and real line personalities don’t add up.

I think that people who are looking to go into a relationship, should put the required work in, get to know each other away from the social network, and even when said relationships have been established, keep them off the social networks too. Constantly putting up posts about your relationship can put an unnecessary strain on the people who are involved.

I guess our parents stayed together simply because they didn’t have 7000 other people following them or liking their pictures at their disposal when their marriage or relationship got hard. Nowadays when our relationship hits the rocks we can just log in and get high of this false sense of security and appreciation. We value our worth based on comments and inbox messages filled with colourful words that have no depth. Meanwhile, the person who loves you when there is no filter on your face becomes an option and the rest of the world who just sees your representative becomes priority. Don’t loose what is real chasing behind what only appears to be. ”  – Tyrese Gibson

Uncle Lagbaja And His Girlfriend’s Tattoo…

For some reason, almost everything that happens around me is a story! This one I just had to share because it got me laughing and thinking at the same time, how much is too much?

So I was busy minding my own business, sitting on the balcony and patiently waiting for the guy I buy fish from to walk by when I heard the conversation below from a couple on my street. I shall call him Uncle Lagbaja because that’s how I refer to people when I cannot for the life of me remember their names.

Uncle Lagbaja: I say I no do again ni, I don tire for this ya love! shey na by force?

His Girlfriend: Lagbaja I dey beg you, no leave me. Wetin I do you now? Joor tell me make I beg you. Abeg, I take God name dey beg you.

Uncle Lagbaja: Why you go tattoo my name put for ya breast? ehn? I don pay money for ya head? I tell you say I go marry you? why?

His Girlfriend:  Ah! na the tattoo dey cause this wahala? I go commot am sharp sharp! I think say you go love me more and even propose to me sef when you see the tattoo…abeg if na the tattoo dey cause wahala I go run go Ikeja now now, rub am commot.

Uncle Lagbaja: E don too late, I no dey do again, I dey pack my load commot for this house, you wan take this tattoo trap me, your plan no go work. I no marry you since all this years, na this yeye tattoo go make me marry you?

Loud, racking sobs followed and  before I could blink, Uncle Lagbaja stormed away on his Okada, his bags in tow. As if on cue, the guy selling the fish passed by and I went to him.

Now what is the point of this story? I learnt a few lessons from Uncle Lagbaja and his now ex girlfriend and I want to share…

1) Tattooing his name on your body will not make him love you or stay with you, Aunty Amber Rose taught us that lesson recently too.

2) Defining your relationship and setting clear goals are very important. Uncle Lagbaja clearly had no intention to marry her even though they lived together, and had been dating for almost six years.

3) Self Worth cannot be over emphasised. Having witnessed Uncle Lagbaja giving her a few slaps before, I would have thought she would have been happy to break up, clearly I was wrong.

4) Think before you ink!!! Just before you get that tattoo, be sure that you are 100% certain you can live with it. Uncle Lagbaja’s Name wasn’t even spelled correctly in the tattoo and she had it emblazoned on her boobs. He pointed it out too that the least she could have done was spell his name correctly.

I would like to hear your thoughts on love and tattoos, and also what you think of Uncle Lagbaja and his Girlfriend.