30 And Oh! So Thankful.

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So yesterday, I turned 30. It was also the first birthday since I turned twenty five that I didn’t cry or feel unaccomplished. I did not have one cloud in my sky yesterday, I actually had a beautiful day! You know, I didn’t set out to. I honestly assumed that anxiety would kick in and I would be again faced with all the things I still hadn’t done, blah blah blah. Ordinarily, I would have but as soon as I opened my eyes, I was filled with a sense of pure joy and gratitude to God. I really cannot explain it  but it was deep and so real. I didn’t even have to try to smile or put up a front pretending that I was happy when I was wailing inside. Every smile, every laughter came from deep within my soul and was as real as can ever be.

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Maybe I have indeed gotten wiser with my new age, but really what is the point of being filled regrets and what ifs? I wasn’t supposed to make it to my first birthday, how much more my thirtieth because the Dr didn’t think I would make it, but I have survived and I am still surviving. I have survived pain, depression, the loss of loved ones, bitter disappointments, I have gotten my heart broken, and I have cried and cried but still I am here, alive, healthy! Eye brows thriving, edges growing, my point is I am here even when I didn’t think I would be.

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The only regret I do have is all the time I have spent crying and whining for things that are in the past and cannot be changed. I have made mistakes and learned from them, and it is time to move forward, bright eyed and optimistic and completely sure that my life is about to become everything I know it will be. Yesterday was amazing, I can officially say I have the best family and friends a girl could ever ask for! They went out of their way to make sure I had a swell time! To my sister who is a million miles away and still managed to sneak a surprise past me, my darling friend Tosin still million miles away, still sending cakes and candles, I love you all! Thank you. For every call, message and gift I am truly grateful. For those who forgot, next year you’ll remember. My path in life has never been more clear, I am so ready. Ready for  love, ready for life, ready to fall, ready to rise, ready to learn, to dream, to hope, I am standing here at the threshold of the beauty I know my life will be, arms stretched, eyes looking up to God, and ready to take on the world.

Happy birthday to me!

“what if we lived everyday like it was our birthday?…” Anonymous

For My Girl Michelle…

 

It’s a beautiful day today. It’s also my birthday eve and I am sitting here reflecting on the awesome people I have had the pleasure of meeting in my life time and my girl Michelle is definitely on that list so I am going to celebrate her awesomeness today!

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I met her my first day of work at Wells Fargo, I was a nervous wreck. You see, I hate maths and numbers confuse me. Yet here I was starting a job at a bank where I had to balance my work every day and pay customers the right amount etc. The day had barely begun and I was ready to quit till I spoke to Michelle. She just had a way of calming me down me and assuring me that it wasn’t a big deal and I could do it. Turned out she was right. I was a lot calmer and though I know she might have been tired of all my questions, she was a very patient teacher.

However, the dynamic of our friendship changed one afternoon. She was giving me a ride home and we stopped at the store to buy some things and before she parked the car we just started talking, turns out that she and I had gone through so many similar ordeals in life, we spoke openly about our battles with depression, anxiety, anger and guilt and gosh! I felt so free, so comforted in the fact that I was not alone. Our friendship was born that day in that parking lot because she gave me the rare privilege of getting to know her and I have never had a moment of regret since. Michelle truly is an amazing person, I could make a list of all the nice things she has ever done for me and that wouldn’t be enough. There’s one I will never forget though. She drove all the way across town at around 1am in the winter just to bring me some food and keep me company, and that night I knew she would be in my life forever. Like when we are old and grey I’ll remind her of that  day and we will laugh about it.

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Michelle is smart, gorgeous, hard working and resilient. She took her power in her own hands and her life is so much better for it, the changes she has made are so visible and I know that this is just the beginning. She is also a gifted writer and you can visit her blog here!(thank me later).

Thank you for the gift of your friendship! You know how much I love and appreciate you and the distance is nothing because I will see you again soon! Keep shining my girl, I gat you #message! (Inside joke)

“As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing...”- Anonymous

This Is Me…

 

This is me.

This is the part where I say goodbye to everything that has held me bound.

This is me breaking up with depression, anxiety and stress.

 This is me kicking all these meaningless situationships that are neither here nor there to the curb.

This is me reclaiming my time, my joy, my pride, my smile.

This is me screaming: out with the old, in with the new.

This is me accepting my portion of the blame and moving on…

This is me telling myself the truth: this bottle of coke might kill me if I don’t quit.

This is me attracting and accepting the love I deserve.

This is me loving myself with my heart and not with my mouth.

This is me learning to say NO and sticking with it, no explanations.

This is me remembering to put coconut oil on my scalp.

This is me drinking a lot of water and minding my business.

This is me loving fiercely, giving completely and expecting nothing in return.

This is me saying I forgive you and meaning it.

This is me accepting my flaws and coming to terms with my numerous imperfections.

This is me rocking tank tops and shorts with pride cos hey! I am not the only one with stretch marks and flabby arms.

This is me speaking up for those who cannot speak up for themselves.

The upgrade is complete, this is the new me.

 -Adaugo 2018

 

 

 

 

Get To Know Me, Again!…

 

Hi guys! I know, I know. If you had a dollar for every time I disappeared and reappeared, you’d all be fairly rich!!! It’s been an intense couple of months, but I thought I would stay still long enough to gather my thoughts and put them down. Having said that, please, pretty please, love me again…*insert fluttering lashes*

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So I know I have done a random facts about me post before, but that feels like a life time ago and a lot has changed since then. I am still me, but with a few new quirks, a few grey hairs *wailing copiously* and new favorite things. Here goes: recently, I have found myself making new friends. The old me didn’t care much, I might see someone on social media or in real life that I like but I would be thoroughly unbothered to try to get to know them, but these days I just go for it and I must say I have met some truly amazing human beings and I love it! My love for makeup has resurrected from the dead. Yup! You read that right. I used to loooove makeup before, always obsessing over my brows and my lips and all that but somewhere in my mid twenties I just stopped. At first I was going through a breakup, so heartbroken and did not care if my brows aligned or that my lips were chapped. Then I got better and got over it but I never really got back into the art of makeup again, I mean I would barely draw my brows, slap on eyeliner and sheer lip gloss and call it a day! Things like foundation and concealer were as foreign to my brain as further maths and I never knew if there was any going back but then, boom! I woke up one morning and took a hard look at my face and said nope! This crap has got to stop and so I went on youtube and also took notes from my good friend who is a makeup artist and voila! The girl is back. These days, I actually sit down to conceal my brows and contour my face, who would have thought? Yup! You guessed it, Adaugo got her groove back!!!

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In case you forgot what I look like...

I am still obsessed with novels, but guys guess what? My love for Danielle Steele has greatly dwindled. Somewhere along the way her books just got too serious and I found myself gravitating back to Nora Roberts and back to happy, bright and shiny and romantic books. I recently discovered Sophie Kinsella and I am blown away by her.

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Still love perfumes (that will never change) still love jewellery and red nail polish, I am still a badass cook; my cooking skills are getting better and better(my brothers will testify!) still obsessed with TV series but I must admit that I am completely, irrevocably over Grey’s Anatomy! I know I was the number one fan of the show but come on! All my cherished characters are dead and I just quit. My current number one is This Is It. Gosh! I cry every episode and I love it. It is just so beautifully written and really, there is no flaw.

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photo credit: Google

I am still in love with Game of Thrones(I might need therapy cos it’s the last season) and all the usual suspects. Still obsessed with frozen grapes (although Lagos and erratic power supply won’t allow me to be great) still winning the daily battle with depression and anxiety and allowing the peace of God to reign in my heart and calm my soul and for the grand finale….*drum roll* I have a nephew!!! On the 16th of February, my sister gave me a bouncing baby boy and I am completely and utterly awestruck and in love.

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meet my yummy nephew: Baby Philip

There you have it my people. Hope I haven’t changed too much?

They always say time changes thing, but you actually have to change them yourself…”– Andy Warhol