Meant To Be..

November 13, 2013, Dear Diary. Beep beep beep” my alarm rang on and on until I had no choice but to wake up and shut it off. I looked around my still dark room in blatant despair, all I wanted to do was sleep, it felt like I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in … Continue reading Meant To Be..

These Tears

These tears, these tears These tears, they won’t fall These tears, they hurt so bad Why? Why me? Why now? I wish you’d fall Fall, so I can be free It hurts, it hurts Deep breaths, deep breaths God sees me, God knows Sigh So I’ll try again Deep breaths, deep breaths Is that.. is … Continue reading These Tears

Midday Musings..

Nerves. They’re always simmering just above the surface, waiting to leap out at me. It doesn’t matter what I am doing, if I’m happy or sad, it doesn’t matter. I’m anxious all the time, my heart beats just a little faster all the time. Sometimes I try to catch myself and slow it down, I … Continue reading Midday Musings..

Lay Here..

Don’t feel, don’t cry, chin up, be a man.. Be a man, be a man.. All these lofty standards, all these rules.. so you struggle.. Even when you’re anxious, overwhelmed and tired Even when it hurts so badly that you cannot breathe Even when you feel like you have failed and you feel like a … Continue reading Lay Here..

Love and Scars..

Life is filled with random coincidences and I thought that this one was worth sharing. Few weeks ago while I was taking off my braids, I cut my left hand in a freak accident, the flesh came right off and it hurt so badly. Eventually it healed and left a scar above my thumb. I … Continue reading Love and Scars..

How Am I? Well..

Dear Diary, There will be no sunshine and rose petals on this post.. I can’t sleep. It’s been months since I enjoyed good sleep. I sleep, but I stay tossing and turning, waking up countless times with vivid and confusing dreams that disappear as soon as my eyes open. I wake up tired, the weight … Continue reading How Am I? Well..