So Tell Me About Yourself…

So, tell me about yourself…some guys say this to girls they have just met and are trying to get to know,  usually during those initial awkward bbm/whatsapp chats or sometimes phone calls. I have been asked that question before and I remember that I paused and thought to myself, how am I supposed to respond to this question? what parts of myself I’m I supposed to describe to this guy who I barely know in one sentence? Should I have sent him a copy of my CV instead? Ok that would have been extreme but my point is what happened to getting to know someone the old fashioned way? Our parents and those before them did not have Instant messaging and they got along just fine.

The problem with this is that there is a high tendency for people to tell lies during these chats. For example a lazy, rude girl who is also a lousy cook and has no interest in reading whatsoever can decide to present herself as such…

Random Guy: …I got your pin/number from my friend, and I would really love to know more about you.. soooo tell me more about yourself, the things you like and those you don’t like…

Random Girl: ...Uhmmm well, I am very hardworking, decent, I read a lot and I am an excellent cook, I also volunteer at a homeless shelter in my free time…I love guys that are honest, caring and God fearing. I cannot stand pride, deceit, etc...

This guy has no clue that this girl is being phony! He on the other hand upon hearing the girl’s preferences might just decide that since he is nothing like what she has mentioned  he has to become what she wants in a guy, to get her. This relationship is already faulty and doomed to fail because it is built on lies and unrealistic expectations. He might be expecting her to one day make him a mouth watering meal only to find out that she can barely make noodles without burning the whole pot! The girl might be expecting a guy who doesn’t smoke nor drink or stay out late but because he has lied to her and fashioned his online self to suit her, they are both in for huge disappointments.

Let’s talk about pictures shall we? between all the filters, photoshop, photo editing and all that we have these days, any one can look drop dead gorgeous. Usually after ” so tell me about yourself ” comes the ” is this you on your dp? ” or ” pls send me recent pictures of you ” of course they will  both scroll through their phones and send each other the prettiest, most handsome pictures of them all, the one that highlights all the right areas, makeshift dimples and all.. At the end of the day when they eventually see each other, it would be hard to marry the two personalities together, because their online and real line personalities don’t add up.

I think that people who are looking to go into a relationship, should put the required work in, get to know each other away from the social network, and even when said relationships have been established, keep them off the social networks too. Constantly putting up posts about your relationship can put an unnecessary strain on the people who are involved.

“ I guess our parents stayed together simply because they didn’t have 7000 other people following them or liking their pictures at their disposal when their marriage or relationship got hard. Nowadays when our relationship hits the rocks we can just log in and get high of this false sense of security and appreciation. We value our worth based on comments and inbox messages filled with colourful words that have no depth. Meanwhile, the person who loves you when there is no filter on your face becomes an option and the rest of the world who just sees your representative becomes priority. Don’t loose what is real chasing behind what only appears to be. ”  – Tyrese Gibson