Some time ago, my boss said to a couple of us at a team meeting: assumption makes an ass of you, before you conclude always ask, never take any outcome for granted. I took that saying to heart and it has helped me stop breaking metaphorical bones while leaping into conclusions.
This thing called assumption has ruined many friendships, and has broken many hearts. The world we live in is now so fast paced, we hardly take the time to think anything through or read the fine prints. Case in point, an acquaintance Ms. O. Now, Ms. O met this guy on social media, facebook to be precise. She sent him a message and they began communicating. She had painstakingly gone through all his posts and pictures, stalked him on instagram as well as twitter and had successfully constructed a personality for him that she was quickly falling in love with, forgetting the profound fact that he is not his posts. The person he was on social media had nothing to do with who she thought he was and she had fallen hard.
Ms. O would slip into depression if he didn’t reply her messages quickly enough and this went on for months. One day she saw an update from him, he had posted a picture in which he had proposed to the girl he had been dating since he was in high school! Poor Ms. O, she wept for days and became so distraught so I could not help but wonder: at what point did she assume they were in a relationship and that he felt the same way about her? he never told her he loved her or gave her any impression that they were anything other than friends still she was able to get her feelings all messed up all because she assumed.
Nobody ever died by asking questions or seeking clarification, it is really important to ask, and ask until you are completely sure before making any decisions or jumping into conclusions. That is one my new year resolutions, to ask before I conclude.
“Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make: bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake, if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble.”- Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy
2 Replies to “This Thing Called Assumption…”
Wow! I can imagine the hurt she must have felt. But really, why assume you’re in a relationship with anyone without clarifying where you stand first? This really applies to all areas of life. Some people assume they’ve earned a promotion and end up disappointed when it doesn’t come. I’ve assumed I’d won a contract in the past and even started making a budget based on the profit only for me to be shot down. Assumption is a very dangerous thing really.
The Ultimate Public Display of Affection
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I completely agree with you. I always ask, just to be sure.