About a year ago, I pierced my Conch. It’s a tough cartilage in the ear but I wanted it badly and so I went and got it done. Nothing prepared me for how painful it was. Of my twelve piercings, this one brought me to my knees many many times and it hurt like hell.
This probably sounds over the top right? You’re probably wondering why I subjected myself to such intentional pain? Maybe I’ll explain why in another post. I thought I knew what I was doing, I thought my body could heal it easy peasy. Boy was I wrong. I did everything right, I cleaned it twice a day, did my best to refrain from touching it without washed hands, chose good jewelry, didn’t sleep on it, I did it all and I did it well, but all the experience I had with healing piercings failed me woefully on this one.
I refused to quit though, I stuck it out for almost a year. One year of only putting my phone on my left ear, of not being able to wear my airpod, of constant,unrelenting pain. To make things worse, Covid struck and every time I wore a mask my ear hurt so badly it was ridiculous really. I was working so hard to keep something that wasn’t meant to be kept. I did everything I could to keep going and somedays it paid off. I’d go weeks with no pain and then it would start all over again. A few weeks ago, I woke up, got dressed and headed straight to my piercer and literally begged her to put me out of my misery and retire the piercing. As soon as she took out the jewelry, I’m talking like ten seconds after the pain stopped. Completely. The throbbing eased, and before I got home the swelling was down. By nighttime, I was able to sleep on my right side and two days later I wore my airpods and mask without wincing in pain for the first time in months. I was free. I nipped the pain in the bud and I was free but strangely, my freedom didn’t make me happy.
I’m sharing this because I realized recently that a lot of the things that have hurt me, were things that I allowed. Much like my piercing, I have allowed certain situations to happen and even when it hurt like hell, I stubbornly held on and thought I could fix it. I’ve been hurting when all along the solution was within reach. I’ve healed my fair share of cartilage piercings so I was confident my conch would heal but sometimes as life goes, things just don’t work. We can try till we’re blue in the face but it won’t change a thing. The only solution is to let go. We have to know when to retire the pain, when to walk away. When to say enough and keep going. We don’t have to suffer when we have an option not to..
I miss my piercing, as happy to be pain free as I am, I miss it. It was cute but it just wasn’t for me. Will I try to pierce it again? No. It didn’t fit, it wasn’t meant to be. I can want it as much as I like but it won’t change the outcome. so I’ve moved on and I’m happy with my other piercings. Life is hard enough, don’t complicate things with your own hands. Don’t be like me. Don’t stick around in pointless, painful situations when you don’t have to. Retire the pain today, you deserve to be free. Now every time I wear my earphones or comfortably place my phone on my right ear, I smile. It feels good to be pain free..
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it” – Helen Keller